het is natuurlijk een zwaar overdreven stuk en niet alles klopt, maar ik moest de man in mijn taxi voorzien van "spannende" verhalen, en de man moest zijn verhaaltje op zijn Blog zo schrijven dat het zijn lezers boeide, zijn website ( toen nog Eel.nu ) bestaat al lang niet meer, maar zijn verhaal heb ik altijd bewaard,
let wel, niet alles klopt wat hij geschreven heeft, er zijn ook dingen door hem verzonnen.
maar hier onder is de (un-cut version ) story, over / wat hij schreef...
Remember the day when you could get so drunk at a pub that you forgot your own name, but still get home via that taxi service with the driver who would tell you stories about his various ex-girlfriends who dabbled in prostitution, heroin and anorexia nervosa, and then have him show you pictures of each of them just before he offered you free web design and hosting and a place to crash at his place as long as you cleaned up a little and maybe bought a lighter? Sadly, those days might be over. I'm not one for charity, but if anyone deserves anything for free, it would be Dwaalhaas.
Christ, where to begin. Originally I discovered Dwaalhaas on a woman's magazine messageboard, comforting a young lady who was feeling insecure about her breast size. Then I noticed his name in an online ad offering a room free of rent. Free as long as you helped him clean up a litle . This deal included free dinner and soda, so I'm assuming his offer was snatched up pretty quickly since finding affordable housing in Holland is a nightmare. And let's face it, everybody loves free soda. This guy spent far too much time online not to have a website, and I was on a jerk-mission to find it.
After some searching I tracked him down as De Waal©65 / Dwaalhaas. Not only did he have the greatest website that I had ever seen, he turned out to be a pretty fucking great artist. It's not that "prop-a-rake-up-and-pretend-it's-meaningful" bullshit, either. It's actual paint on canvas, with the occasional inflatable love doll. Stuff even a Neanderthal such as yourself could grasp and possibly appreciate, even if you don't own a black turtleneck sweater and aren't a virgin.
His artwork isn't really the most interesting thing about him, and that's not to say I don't like it. I love his work. He's lived the life of S,D&R+R. Okay, replace the rock & roll with train-yard heroin prostitutes and you'll be getting closer. He drove a taxi to support himself, since he doesn't like to sell his paintings to people he doesn't know. He opened what he calls a "Drive-by Expo" for art lovers who can't be burdened to get out of their vehicles. It looks suspiciously like a bunch of stuff set up in his ground-floor apartment window, but I'm no expert on art galleries and will not pretend to be. Yes, I be keeping it real, my niggers.
For those of us who dare to leave the comfort of our Ford Fiestas and brave the searing sunlight, De Waal holds another type of Expo INSIDE his premises. It's a type of party/art show/circus for anyone interested in learning about Waalinism. The only rule is that you bring something to contribute, such as "Bavaria Beer, deep fried food and hard drugs". Ladies, feel free to simply "bring love". Don't be a rude guest! You can also sleep on the floor if you call ahead.
But again, all of this really pales in comparison to his website. Devouring what must be 90% of Geocities bandwidth, I can't even begin to comprehend everything he has to offer, his anorexia nervosa page or his tribute to his dead ex-girlfriend, I can honestly say no other site has held my attention for the 2 solid months I've been exploring this phenomenon. Don't mistake my enthusiasm for mockery. Let me assure you anyone with an online recipe on how to properly deep fry a hot dog two times without it burning not only has my attention, but my utmost respect.
I've been wanting to link to his site for a long time, but now I have an actual need to. De Waal lost his taxi driving job due to the current economic slump and is facing the possibility of having to sell paintings to uppity art dealers looking to hang them in their shitty art-house cafe's where the dress code is a beret and a notebook full of bad poetry that doesn't even rhyme. These are the exact people who shit on a paper plate, make a reference to Aboriginal displacement and call it performance art. These are the enemy, and not worthy of owning anything by De Waal.
Take a few weeks off work and look around C65. If you like, deposit a few bucks in his account at GIRO 4710011. A few encouraging words in his guestbook would be great too. Got a site? Link to him. (I dare you to use his banners.) If we don't support the interesting people, the whole internet will look like this.
If that happens, I'll go back to watching network TV.
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